


As Tough As Diamonds, As Fragile As Glass

by deepestfathoms



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Anna is an amazing friend, Bessie deserves more, Bessie’s family? Angels, Guilt, Henry put her through shit okay, Hurt/Comfort, Jane will mom anyone, Joan Maria and Maggie love their depressed mom friend, Mentioned Pedophilia, Multi, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trigger words, Triggers, implied csa, she was so young, this is my take on that, y’all really out here ignoring Bessie’s trauma huh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 07:40:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20524382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestfathoms/pseuds/deepestfathoms
Summary: The queens aren’t the only ones Henry put his hands on.





	As Tough As Diamonds, As Fragile As Glass

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE BESSIE!!!!!

Right from the get go, Bessie knew she was going to be the “mom friend” of the ladies in waiting. She expected this, though, and took up the role with open arms. This meant she had to be the strong one, and she was, but, sometimes, old memories came back with so much power she couldn’t fight back.

  
It happened during a rehearsal before the shows started. Bessie had just finished playing a part from one of the songs, which everyone clapped and cheered for.

  
“Great job, Lizzie!” Cleves praised and, although she meant well, something snapped in Bessie’s chest.

  
That was the name Henry used to groom her with. He would coo it in her ear as he caressed her quivering thighs, purr and croon it while he kneaded her budding breasts. Her never stopped unless she mewled for him like a hungry kitten.

  
The feeling of phantom fingers dance across her body and Bessie’s bass clatters to the ground.

  
Bessie reeled backwards in a surge of adrenaline, bumping into a few things until she was pressed against the wall. One hand grips tightly at her chest, which has tightened into several knots. Her throat closes up and she suddenly felt so, so vulnerable.

  
She could feel her breaths shortening and she dug her heels back into the tile floor, trying to ground herself in any way possible. This was not the time to break down. She had a job to do.

  
By now, the others have noticed, especially when Bessie started to gasp and wheeze. Seeing the bassist like this, pale and shivering, felt so wrong.

  
“Bessie?” Jane was in front of her. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

  
_No I’m not ‘alright!’ Does it look like I’m alright?! _Bessie’s thoughts screamed, but a second voice overtook the sarcastic one.

  
** _You ruined her life_ **

  
It wasn’t Jane the voice was referring to, though. Bessie didn’t dare look at the golden queen in question.

  
“Hey, easy,” Jane murmured, hands reached out to help steady the bassist.

  
“No!” Bessie exclaimed, jerking back and attempting to get up so she could go somewhere else to calm down and look at the situation rationally, but her legs were weak, and she stumbled before falling to the ground on all fours.

  
Immediately, Cleves was next to her and then Jane. The others huddled around her, whispering and gasping and bouncing theories off of each other. Bessie stared intently at Aragon’s shoes before shutting her eyes tightly.

  
** _You did this to Her_ **

  
“Bessie?” Jane’s voice came from in front of her, but Bessie could barely make it out. “Bessie, can you hear me? You need to breathe, love. Can you do that for me? Breathe.”

  
_Breathe? Wow, I never thought of that!_ Bessie thought because she didn’t have the air to say it.

  
“Bessie?” Jane tried again when Bessie doesn’t react, “Come on, love. You can do it. Breathe.”

  
“No,” Bessie whispered in a voice so weak and soft it was startling to hear come from her, “Can’t- Henry-”

  
A few of the queens tensed up.

  
** _You wanted it_ **

  
Guilt came back strong. Bessie gave into the blind panic and felt her entire body seize up.

  
** _You ruined Her life_ **

  
She began wheezing out ‘I’m sorry’s in between frantic gasps and her chest was tight so, so tight, and in front of her, Cleves steps in to grab her arms, trying to tell her to breathe but in that moment, Bessie needed to apologize more than she needed to breathe, and the apologies were spilling out on top of each other. Her lungs were screaming for air, but she needed to apologize or things would somehow get worse because she knew that was how it always worked.

  
At this point, she could feel herself shaking like a leaf, and she never felt more pathetic.

  
** _How can you break down in front of Her after what you did?_ **

  
Why did she care so much? Why did she care about Aragon? Aragon left her when she needed her the most. Aragon gave up on her. Aragon blamed her for everything.

  
They hated each other.

  
And yet, Bessie was still trying to force herself to apologize for her trauma. Because, deep down, she knew her own fears and suffering didn’t matter. 

Cleves’ hands cupped her cheeks, wiping away her tears, and Bessie realized she was crying on top of everything.

  
“Bessie, please, focus on me,” Cleves said gently.

  
“It was me,” Bessie gasped, opening her eyes and staring at the floor, at Cleves’ knees, Jane’s feet, because she didn’t deserve to look any of them in the eyes.

“I-”

  
** _Tell them_ **

  
“I’m trying,” She said, her chest seizing up.

  
“I don’t know what you’re saying, but it’s not important,” Cleves said, trying to catch her eyes. “Breathe, Bessie, breathe with me.”

  
“No, I-” Bessie stuttered, continuing to hyperventilate and feel more pathetic by the second. She had to say it. She had to wallow in the humiliation of what she did. “Henry- Affair- it was me.”

  
Cleves’ hands, wiping away her tears, went still.

  
“You- what?”

  
The bassist says nothing as she completely broke down into painful sobs, unable to breathe, unable to speak, squeezing her eyes shut before opening them again.

  
Her arms were numb, yet she still felt incredibly hot, and this was how she was going to die, wasn’t it?

  
** _You deserve it._ **

  
She shook her head again, feeling dizzy.  
And then Jane’s hands were on her shoulders and Cleves is ducking her head to try and make eye contact, but the ceiling lights were too bright and all Bessie could hear was the thumping of her heart and her panicked breaths, and everything was buzzing, and the last thing she saw was Aragon’s face.

  
———

  
Her head was pounding. That was the first thing she registered. The second thing was the deep throb in her chest and then that she was lying down.

  
What happened?

  
Bessie groaned and immediately regretted it. Yup, she definitely had a headache. She tried to open her eyes, struggling slightly because of the overhead lights. A distance away, there was a gasp. Footsteps approached. Fingers touched her shoulder. A familiar voice.

  
“Elizabeth?” She opened her eyes and Lady Jane Seymour’s face was above hers, “How are you feeling?”

  
“What happened?” Bessie croaked.

  
“You had a really bad panic attack and passed out, love.” Jane informed gently.  
Right. It all came back to her. Bessie closed her eyes again, taking a moment to wallow in her own humiliation and self-hatred for what went down.

  
“God, I’m sorry.”

  
“We’ll talk in a second,” Jane said, voice still gentle and warm, even when talking to her. “Can you sit up?”

  
Instead of replying, Bessie tried to push herself up on her arms, only making it halfway. She still felt incredibly weak, but before she could say anything, Jane was helping her into a better position. The touch made Bessie shudder.

  
The quietness that followed was tense and thick in the air. Jane passed over a water bottle, which Bessie took gratefully.

  
“I’m really sorry.” Bessie whispered hoarsely. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  
“It’s okay, love. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jane assured her, gently rubbing the bassist’s shoulder.

  
That felt like a punch to the gut. But why? Shouldn’t forgiveness be a good thing? While pondering this, the others file in, much to Bessie’s dismay. 

The other ladies in waiting look simultaneously worried and relieved, with Maggie clearly being way more anxious than Joan and Maria. The cousins had curious looks, while Parr and Cleves were genuinely concerned. Aragon’s expression was unreadable.

  
“Are you okay?” Maggie asked. There was an anxious look in her eyes.

  
“Yes,” Bessie grunted, pressing the heel of her palm to her temple. “Don’t worry about me. Just give me a moment.”

  
“You passed out, Bessie,” Parr informed and Bessie had to bite back a snide remark. “We’re going to worry.”

  
“What happened, anyway?” Anne asked, “I didn’t think anything could crack you.”

  
Parr elbows Anne in the ribcage for that one.

  
Bessie’s ears burn bright red, but, luckily, it’s hidden by her hair. She bows her head a little, sighing to mask her anxiety with agitation.

  
“It was that name.” She finally said, cursing at how shaky her voice was.

  
“Lizzie?” Katherine pipes up and Bessie winced.

“Yes.”

  
“You used to love being called that.” Aragon mused, like she was trying to find a way to deny the bassist’s fear.

Whatever Bessie had been feeling towards her during the panic attack was now gone, replaced by the usual hatred she felt for the first queen.

  
“Yeah, well things change.” Bessie snaps back with barely contained rage, “I just- I don’t like it okay? It’s the name Henry used to groom me with…”

  
The room went silent.

  
“Oh, and that’s so terrible?” Aragon said, “After all, he _loved you_.”

  
“I was _thirteen_.” Bessie spat and she almost felt pride in the shocked reactions she got. “Shut your damn mouth, Catalina, because you don’t know anything.”

  
Silence.

  
Then, Cleves speaks up.

  
“I’m going to talk to her for a moment.”  
After everyone filed out of the room, the red queen sat down next to her friend.  
“Are you okay?”

  
“Not really,” Bessie laughed dryly, putting her head in her hands. “I keep thinking he’s- No. It’s selfish.”

  
“No it’s not.”

  
“I didn’t marry him. I’m not some seventh queen who suffered like the rest of you. It doesn’t-” Bessie sighed heavily, “It doesn’t matter.”

  
“It matters to me.” Cleves said firmly, “Who cares if you weren’t a queen? He still hurt you.”

  
Bessie is quiet for a moment, peeking up at Cleves, who sets a hand on top of hers, squeezing comfortingly. She sighed again.

  
“Catalina gave me the nickname.” The bassist started, her lips twitching into a ghost of a smile, “I loved it. So much better than Bessie. I actually stopped going by Bessie for awhile,” She said that part with a small laugh, making Cleves laugh as well, “But…”

  
The smile fell.

  
“When Henry and I got together, he used to groom me. Always telling me how beautiful I was, always touching me…” Bessie closed her eyes and swallowed thickly. “We- we had a lot of sex, I’m ashamed to say. I hated that I wanted it at first, hated that I thought it was just a sweet gesture and that he loved me, but- but then it just got more rough.” She has to stop a moment, scrubbing her hands over her eyes to get rid of the tears. Then, is a hoarse whisper she says, “Oh god, Anna, it _hurt_. It hurt so much. I felt like I was being _ripped open_.”

  
Worry sparks in Cleves’ eyes, along with anger and disgust. This was just another reason why she wanted to go back in time and beat the hell out of Henry. However, right now, she wanted nothing more than to take Bessie into her arms and hold her and keep any other bad thoughts from entering her head.

  
“I’ve tried to handle it,” Bessie continued, “I’ve done good. I just- I can’t act like this. I’m not supposed to.”

  
“You don’t have to be strong all the time, Bessie.” Cleves told her, squeezing her hand.

  
Bessie clenches her jaw, but then relaxed. She doesn’t say anything else, so Cleves speaks again.

  
“I’m sorry,” The queen said, “I shouldn’t have said that name.”

  
“Not your fault,” Bessie said, not raising her head from where it was angled towards the ground, “You didn’t know.”

  
Cleves nodded slowly.

  
“Can I hug you?”

  
“…That’d be nice.”

  
Bessie couldn’t help but lean into the arms that wrapped around her. She rests her pounding head against Cleves’ own, letting her fear and anxiety ebb away slightly.

  
“Can I call you Libbie?”

  
“What?”

  
“Libbie,” Cleves repeated, “You know, as a nickname. I understand if it’s too close to the other one, though.”

  
“No,” Bessie said quickly. She smiled a little, “I like Libbie.”

  
—————

  
The shower Bessie took was almost two hours long and she still didn’t feel clean by the time it was over. When she finally stepped out, her skin was rubbed raw and glowed neon pink. Sensitive to the touch and still budding blood in some areas where she scrubbed a bit too viciously, her flesh stung in the open air.

  
The feeling of His hands still lingered on her body.

  
After spending two minutes washing her face, she got dressed into her pajamas and finally stepped out of the bathroom. While trudging to her room, preparing to try and just sleep all this sadness off, she heard a commotion coming from downstairs.

  
“Maria, what the hell are you doing?!”

  
“My best!”

  
“Maria!! Hold her still!”

  
“I’m trying! She is WILD!”

  
“Shh!!”

  
“Oh, don’t you ‘Shh’ me! You’re not the one getting bitten!”

  
At that, Bessie does a double take. Thinking Maggie may be having a meltdown, she hurried downstairs, not caring if her eyes were still red and puffy from crying endlessly for two hours.

  
“Maggie?”

  
Instead of her protégé freaking out or having an attack, she saw a kitten with its tongue sticking out on the dinner table. Maria swipes the cat and hides it behind her back.

  
“Told you you should have been quiet.” Joan whispered to Maria, to which the drummer kicked her in the shin in response.

  
Maggie takes the Somali kitten and sets it in Bessie’s arms, who still looks very confused.

  
“Her name is Speed Demon!” The guitarist informed.

  
Bessie quirked a brow and scratched under the cat’s chin with a finger.

  
“Interesting name choice,” She said, “Whose is she?”

  
“Yours!”

  
Bessie stopped. She blinks.

  
“What?”

  
“You’ve been pretty upset since rehearsals, even though you said you were fine.” Joan said.

  
“You spent two hours in the shower. How do you think we found the time to get the Demon?” Maria pipes in for a moment.

  
“So, we got you a little present to cheer you up!” Joan continued.

  
Bessie is quiet. Then, she looks down at the kitten, which is licking her collarbone and purring loudly.

“Why?”

  
“What?” Maria tilted her head.  
“Why did you do this? I was only a little upset. I told you I was fine.”

  
“We care about you.” Joan said.

  
“You’re our family, Bessie!” Maggie continued.

  
“We love you.” Maria finished.

  
Bessie wasn’t sure why, but that’s what broke her.

  
She crumpled down to her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks for the fourth time that day. But, this time, she really let herself cry. She let herself be weak for a moment because she knew the three people hugging her would be there to hold her together.

  
And the kitten? Well, the kitten was just the icing on the cake.

**Author's Note:**

> write more with her pussies


End file.
